Scouting Separation Anxiety

I talk a big game. I tell everyone how much I love that my oldest is now a Boy Scout and is gaining much needed independence by going on campouts without me or my husband. And I do mean half of it. I really do love that he's a Boy Scout, and my youngest is a Cub Scout. They have both learned invaluable skills such as how to force me to learn how to tie square knots and surgeon's knots and my stomach in knots as I try to master the skill and then reteach it to them while trying not to yell, "You're doing it wrong. It's right over left, then left over right."

In all seriousness though, it really has been a fantastic experience for my oldest son to start attending campouts on his own, and we do love Scouting and our Scouting friends. And I am fully aware that my oldest needs to learn how to do things for himself. While I need to learn to sit on my hands and stop trying to micromanage his life just because I know I can do it better. So here is how both sides of that story work.

Son Side:
1. He must pack his own backpack and camping gear. Which means whatever he forgets, he forgets and has to live without. And will learn to bring next time while forgetting something else.

Neurotic Mom Side:
1. That means I can only remind him to pack enough underwear for each day without the guarantee he will change them or even pack them. And when he forget his jacket, chair, sleeping bag and I see it sitting in his closest, I must chuck back a glass of wine and resist the urge to bring it to him.

Son Side:
2. He must find another kid to share a tent with and then learn the valuable skill of how to get along with another human being he isn't related to.

Neurotic Mom Side:
2. I can't pick and choose his friends like I did in the playdate stage and then hover to make sure they are nice to him. I have to let him learn to negotiate for himself and learn how to share and compromise.

Son Side:
3. I have to let him experience nature and learn to respect it and not be afraid of everything.

Neurotic Mom Side:
3. I've already passed on my phobia of spiders. But I have to chuck back another glass of wine while watching Netflix to drown my fear that he's going to be the kid to find the rattlesnake, scorpion, Big Foot, etc.

Son Side:
4. I have to let him cook for himself and the other kids in his patrol.

Neurotic Mom Side:
4. I have to pray that I've taught him enough at home and that he doesn't give the rest of his patrol food poisoning or light himself on fire.

All in all, being in Scouts has been a true growth experience for both of us. He's learning to be a capable, skillful, kind, and independent young man as well as having the time of his life bonding with his peers. And I am learning to let go and trust God and the Scout Leaders to take care of my kid and teach him to identify and avoid poison oak.

So yes, I will profess here and now what a great experience Scouting has been for us. My oldest son is taking initiative and doing things for himself now, and I'm very proud of him. The kid even made himself a hash brown and dressed himself for V.B.S this morning without being nagged which in our house is progress, especially during summer vacation.

But I will also admit to texting my fellow Scout parents who attend the trips with him to see if he's still alive as I wrestle all night with the images of bear bursting through his tent to eat the toothpaste he forgot to put in someone's car. And yes, there really were bears wandering through camp one weekend, even brushing up against a boy's tent. But my son remembered to put the toothpaste in the car and even told the story without a hint of fear. So maybe all my phobias haven't rubbed off.

Growing up is hard to do - for both of us.