Here's Hoping My Kids are Nerds Like Me

As a writer, I lack the wild past of drugs and alcohol, or sneaking in to seeing cool and obscure grunge bands, and all the other fringe experiences that would make for an eye-opening, best-selling autobiography. The one I'd write after settling into the anonymity of being the average house wife and mother.

While this may hamper my writing career and project me strictly into the realm of writing my badly-behaved characters as fiction, as a mom I'm perfectly okay with this. Because I want my kids to be a nerd like I was and still very much am.

Now I am not judging anyone who had the wild past. Good for you. I hope you came out the other side safe and happy.

But it's a rocky road, I don't want my sons careening down only to end up re-examing their lives after a nearly fatal accident such as friend o.ding or a drunken crash on the side of the freeway. These storylines make for interesting television drama but not a successful and healthy life.

Not that I am suggesting they live like monks and never sow some of their wild oats. I went to college parties and made some questionable choices. I traveled around Europe and danced in Irish pubs and the German Reeperbahn district of Hamburg till the wee hours of the night. And I donned a red, plaid dress with shiny, black straps whenever I wanted a guy to notice me. But I was also always painfully aware that my choices had consequences and never drove drunk or allowed anyone else to. I'm all for fun as long as you make it home safely so you can go out and have fun again the next time. This has earned me the "Goody Two-Shoes" badge which I will gladly wear as no one has died or been arrested on my watch. Plus, I know how to have a good time without putting my life at risk.

As a teenager, I lived in my own little bubble where the highlights of my life were going to Coco's late at night still wearing pancake makeup with the rest of the theater kids and finding a new book by L.M. Montgomery of Anne of Green Gables fame. Yes, I was the nerdy girl wearing white stirrups pants and an over-sized Guess sweatshirt with a kitten on the front. The one the cool kids probably made fun of behind my back, I'm not sure as everyone was nice to my face. Not that I really wanted to hang with the cool kids. My tribe of drama geeks embraced my weirdness and accepted me as one of their own. I had enough friends and a full-social calendar to keep me occupied.

Moreover, my energy was channeled at getting the highest grade in history class. I was Rory Gilmore, the smart girl, and I liked to show it off. I never understood the girls who pretended to be idiots whenever a boy was around.  My husband calls me an intellectual snob, and I'll own up to it. I respect intelligence. I cringed if a guy I dated wasn't as smart as I was.

Lucky for my sons, I married an extremely intelligent guy and not just because he was wise enough to pick me. And I hope our clever, nerdy chromosomes are linked in tight molecular bonds within our sons' D.N.A.

In fact, I love when my oldest loses himself in a book or asks me questions about current events or history. My heart tangos whenever my youngest son gets excited over math or science. And I am not bothered a wit that the girls don't crush on my stinky, weird boys. There will plenty of time later for all that craziness. My sons are not popular. But they are well-liked and well-known for their intellectual prowess and kind hearts.

My biggest fear is that this will change as they enter middle school and high school. I want to shield them with books and ambition. I pray they meet their own nerdy tribe and stay young and innocent for as long as they can. Especially in an age where sexting and twelve-year-olds giving blow jobs is the norm, I want my sons to be the goofy, nerdy kids who are still just kids. Because, honestly, even teenagers are still kids. It's society, social media, and peer pressure that often coerce them into doing what they perceive as grown up acts like drugs, alcohol, and sex. And I'm not denying hormones or curiousity. Watching Dirty Dancing at 14 flushed my cheeks and sent a new warmth to places I wasn't so aware of before, but I didn't act on them with other people until I was older.

So, I'd rather find gooey socks in my son's room than have a grand child.

But I'm hoping my kids will be so busy with academics and sports to have much time to screw around.

So don't judge me or think I'm naive. I know the world then and now. I just chose to make my own nerdy decisions and hope my boys do too.