Are We Keeping it Real or Keeping it Rude?

Disclaimer: This is not an attack on my friends and their politics, but more of a general observation on the license for inconsiderate and sometimes downright thoughtless words and actions that both politicians and our society has allowed to become the norm.

Now my personal belief is that human nature is inherently problematic, bad being too strong a word for me. This is something philosophers and world religions have discussed and mulled over for centuries. But my Christian upbringing and just watching the developing nature of my own sons makes me believe we must work at being good and empathetic. We are born rather selfish and self-centered. It is the role of our parents, schools, and society to model good behavior and teach us how to rise above our nature of want. We learn from them the benefits of kindness and sharing.

But when I tap my mouse and open any social media page or turn on the television, I am bombarded by a celebration of cruel, cutting words and the idolatry of the individual. Our politicians have been slinging barbs against not only each other but particular segments of society like hyper-active monkeys slinging poo at the zoo. And no one is apologizing. Quite the opposite, it's being hailed as keeping it real. That the honesty is refreshing. Well, I'm here to say it's not. It's not honest to say all Mexicans are lazy, rapists, and drug dealers. I'm married to a Mexican American man who works hard as an attorney. His mother may be retired but never stops working for her kids, grandkids, and her church.

It is fear, pettiness, and too much free time combined with the false courage social media affords us, that allows us to post unkind words without looking the person in the face that has really fed this trend of nastiness. But it still hurts. I was appalled to see a post from someone I thought was better than that of a political cartoon depicting President Obama as a slave picking cotton while someone calls him "Boy". Now, you don't have to agree with his politics but making fun of slavery, a despicable stain on our national history that should teach us humility and the error of our ways is downright ugly and evil.

But this is the new norm, ironically in an age of political correctness where more people care about Cecil the Lion and animal rights than human ones. So while one news story or viral post celebrates diversity another makes fun of it. And I will go on record as saying I can be a hypocrite like every other person on the planet and am known for my snarkiness. But I am never cruel. I'd rather poke fun at the inconsistencies of human nature than label an entire race as terrorists.

But I fear this new acceptance of rudeness and cruelty. I work hard to teach my kids to respect all people and judge others only on behavior not race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. But will society undo my life lessons?

I hear people complain about entitlement, a word I truly hate and knee-jerk react against whenever my darling sons start acting like entitled brats. But isn't Facebook a vehicle for entitlement allowing people to show off their "sanitized" and heavily edited pictures and images of their "perfect" lives. Our ids have splattered themselves all over social media. Between the mean political memes are the ones defending the right to be a bitch or act like a spoiled brat. Or we can watch shows like "Real Housewives" or the Kardashians or anything on E or Bravo where rich people are famous for being catty and cruel to each other.

I think being "real" should mean that we are "really" trying our hardest to be kind, considerate, loving people who agree to disagree in an intellectual and understanding manner. We cannot argue like second graders on the playground and start name calling when someone calls us out on our hypocrisy or differs with our opinions. I want to live in a world where rudeness is seen for what it really is - petty and mean and meant to inflict harm.

Real to me are those friends who really do good for others and will really lend you a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to. I have so many of these good people in my life. They should be emulated and celebrated. There is enough hate and misery in the world, let's not add to it in an effort to seem cool and edgy. It's not honesty but honestly malicious.