Something about tearing down the calendar and tacking up the new one, the giant one in the laundry room, shifts my spring cleaning into high gear. I begin the New Year with a purge - out with the old, in with the new, one is silver and the other is garbage.
But that's the problem, the other is a lot of garbage, an accumulation of broken toys, used clothes, old decorations, and other bric-a-brac accumulated over a year. Things I or my kids or my hubby felt we needed in that insane moment of impulse buying that effects us all. You know that feeling of being magnetized to the item, the itch to spend money tingling in your fingers, even though it remains in the back of the closet after an the initial first fresh from the package play or wear. But then it's like puppy love, out of sight out of mind or discarded for the new impulse buy. It's a problem, a giant, environmentally damaging problem. I was shocked to learn that last year the U.S. threw away 12.8 million tons of textile waste, filling already impacted landfills with last year's fashions. For most of us, we have a lot of ready cash and a lot of places to spend it, and even more ads and junk emails telling us to spend it. We are killing our environment with our flash-pan fashion trends that change as frequently as Taylor Swift changes boyfriends.
And to be honest, a lot of those pieces ending up in my giant trash bag for Goodwill are presents my kids played with or wore once. Gifts people felt they or I needed to give them because it's rude not to give a present. And I'm guilty of this too - gifting people with brown sugar body wash or an evergreen candle or another knick knack for the kitchen. Gifts that say little about my friends and what they really mean to me.
The most precious thing lately that I and a lot of people I know lack is time. Or at least quality time. Remember, those meaningful conversations we used to have with friends and significant others in our pre-smart phone days? Those coffee dates when we talked about everything and nothing instead of posting mainly nothing between sips of designer lattes and taking an ussie to prove we are together and enjoying each other's company.
So here's an idea inspired by my lovely friend, Jennie, and her Christmas gift of a gift certificate to enjoy a paint night with her - let's gift each other time. Instead of more Bath and Body Work's lotion or a pair of earrings that may or not get worn, let's give each other a gift of our time and complete attention. And for those strapped for cash, it doesn't need to be something expensive. It can be as simple as inviting the other person over for coffee and chat at your own house. Or if you have more cash to spend, a friend's night out. Instead of buying more toys for our kids, maybe we should commit to a day at the park where the phone stays in the pocket, or a round of mini-golf. Something they enjoy and will cherish and always have as a precious memory.
These gifts of time mean even more in our busy modern world. It means we are consciously taking time to show that our friends and loved ones are important to us. That they have value in a world that somedays seems cheap and valueless. Honestly, I'd love to even have someone gift me a mom's night in to watch Downtown Abbey reruns and drink wine with a friend while the hubby takes the kids to Grandma's for dinner - two gifts in one.
Maybe someone can invent a e-business - the Amazon of Time where people schedule dates with friends and signifiant others but have to commit to a date with a penalty for wiggling out of it without a good excuse. A website with gift certificates for events or a calendar showing fun local things to do where you can pencil yourself in with a reminder text to the phone.
In our consumer culture, we throw so much away. And I'm afraid that our relationships are one of those things. We are not only hurting our environment but ourselves.
So forget the gift wrap and the blanket for the couch. Wrap a gift that means more - a gift of yourself and your time. The best gift of all.
The mused wanderings of a tired mother and writer because blogging is cheaper than therapy and makes me look like I know what I'm doing.
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